Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
