Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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