He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize