I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize