Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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