hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
