god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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