yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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