dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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