Say something about gay babies.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
