I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
