I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
