so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
