I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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