It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
