sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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