i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
