I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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