sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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