All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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