Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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