I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize