That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize