Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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