Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize