I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
