It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
