His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize