I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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