I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
