He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
