every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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