What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
