I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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