Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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