don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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