Tell her she can't have a vagina
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
don't judge my taste in strippers
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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