I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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