watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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