So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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