Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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