Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize