i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
