Taylor Swift is so right about you.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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