Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
