Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
