we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
