Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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