If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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