I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
