i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
