Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
