we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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