OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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