I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Less talking, more tequila
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
