i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize