their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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