I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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