Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.