Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos