Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.