he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
PANTIES FOUND
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