My room smells like vodka and shame
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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