Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if only i could text you this smell
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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