Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
